The Manuscript Buffet

I found this very clever.

Would every agent find it clever? No. Some are all about the succinct emails. I, however, can't get over the all-you-can-eat manuscript buffet. I really like salad bar buffet restaurants--and, yes, the ones with the carb (pizza and pasta and macaroni and cheese and bread and...) stations, too.

Yes, that's right. Sometimes I get NYC fatigue and just want a nice suburban restaurant with fluorescent lighting, logo napkins, and scalloped, plastic bowls for pudding served with a ladle (which I will cover in soft serve and chocolate syrup).

Naturally, she's from a diet website. It suggests packing healthy snacks in one's suitcase. Ha! The best part of vacations is that calories don't count.

With the writer's permission, here's my favorite "You just rejected this one, but you said I could send you the next one, so--awesome, no hard feelings, hooray, will do" email:

Dear [GK]:
Thank you for taking the time to consider [title of manuscript]. As a blog follower, I understand the GK plate is submerged under the weight of an all-you-can-eat MS buffet, and truly value the individual consideration you allowed my work.

My first MS, [title of work] remains dear to my butter-clogged heart. Currently, I am plugging away at number two and hope you will consider giving it a read once the T’s are crossed, I’s dotted and vodka finished.

With Thanks,
[Writer]

5 comments:

Melissa said...

One day, I hope to be the ice cream sprinkles in the manuscript buffet.

You know how you get the soft serve ice cream, and because it's all-you-can-eat you just pile on the sprinkles? Yeah, like that.

As opposed to the raspberry crumble of the manuscript buffet. It sounds good in concept, so you try some, but after a couple of bites you know it could be better quality so you put it down.

Melissa said...

One day, I hope to be the ice cream sprinkles in the manuscript buffet. You know how you get the soft serve ice cream, and because it's all-you-can-eat you load up on the sprinkles and don't stop? Yeah, like that.

As opposed to being the butterscotch cheesecake of the manuscript buffet. Sure, the concept sounds intriguing, but it's clear after a few bites that it could be better quality so you put it down.

Melissa said...

Argh! I thought blogger had erased my reply and I had to re-type from memory. Sorry about that.

Jen Daiker said...

*applause* What a beautiful "Can I send you more" letter. I love it when the creativeness flows within the writer.

I suppose some days the manuscript buffet is delicious... then again I think I'll stick with the fabulous pastry buffet I have waiting for me at home... I'm thinking chocolate eclairs, and possibly a wonderful pie of sorts!

Agency Gatekeeper said...

Melissa,
You're right. That crumble is never as good as it looks!