Frappuccinos, Frasier, Summer in NYC and A Certain Delicious Office Treat Recipe

I've worked a surprising number of ridiculous summer jobs. I spent one summer deveining shrimp (technically I was a prep cook, but it seemed peeling and washing out the little bug-like creatures was my main task), one summer working for a woman who never remembered my name ("Student? STUDENT! I called you in here FIVE MINUTES AGO!") and one working for a magazine so radical, it regularly received death threats.

But my best summer job was with a chocolate company.

That's right. I was a proud member of the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory's franchise.

It was exciting (try to be bored while standing one foot from a giant bubbling cauldron of sticky caramel--really, just try), occasionally slow (there'd be long stretches where no one would come in, so I'd play with the tempering machine, coating anything extra I could find with chocolate) but, mostly, edumacational.*

A few minutes ago, IFI and I were sitting in an office quiet but for the hum of the air conditioner.

This is not our office air conditioner.

"You know what sounds really good?" I said. "A frappuccino."

"Yeah! With whipped cream!" she said.

"Yeah! When they put chocolate in the whipped cream spiral! That's awesome!"

"You know, there's one [a Starbucks] just a few blocks away," she said.

At this point, I must explain that, though it's not reached full summer heat yet (thank goodness), it's still pretty toasty. And gross out.

I briefly considered hijacking our staff and taking IFI for a Starbizzle** frap, but then I thought about going outside. And the heat. And the smell. The whole city kind of smells like pavement right now.

Plus, I'm really lazy.

Soon, IFI heard frightening sounds coming from the kitchen.

If I had more skills, I would Photoshop IFI on the front. 

It's already been an unusual day--I just wrote an email to an author that mentioned both BeerFest (the movie) and Frasier--all perfectly relevant and proper in that context, I assure you--so further oddities seemed only normal.

For a variety of reasons, we have a pretty well-equipped office kitchen. It's modern, and pretty, and I live in fear of scratching the counters.

Best of all, it has a really tough blender.

I kind of guessed at the measurements from what I remembered--after all, I wasn't about to steal corporate recipes while on the job (and probably also why we used measurements like "one scoop which is nowhere near a measuring cup increment"). Plus, the RMCF had special Ghiradelli chocolate powders, which I haven't seen in NYC.

But here's what I came up with.

GK tested, IFI approved.

Try it in your office! Your colleagues will be impressed, even though it's basically a coffee smoothie.

Makes 1.5 large frappuccinos.

You will need...

• 1/2 cup espresso or French press or coffee-coffee brewed as strong as you can make it. Really mess with the usual grounds-to-water ratio. Lots of grounds, very little hot water. 
• 12 large ice cubes. Ours are seriously huge and actually cube-shaped, so use a few more if you're using standard ice. 
• Two heaping (really, get as much as you possibly can on the spoon) teaspoons cocoa powder (I used Hershey's)
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup milk, highest fat content you have on hand

Put the ice in first (excepting 2-3 cubes), then pour the hot coffee over it. Yes, it'll crack. If you've messed with the ice halfway through the freezing process and created air bubbles, it may even pop. Fun fun.

Add the remaining ingredients and blend like crazy. If you have a pulse setting, use that. Stir to make sure all the ice is included.

Then add the last two ice cubes, and blend. This keeps everything from being so smooth that it melts right away.

If you have whipped cream and chocolate or caramel syrup on hand, use that too.

Serve and enjoy!
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* The sugar, clearly, has gone to my head.
** "Izzle" is, according to middle class, white, suburban yet somehow "gangsta" friends, an excellent and versatile suffix.