So. I spoke with a number of writers this weekend who fully expect that agents are, at all times, making fun of the bulk of the queries that come in.
First of all: yes, our offices can sometimes get somewhat silly. Put enough overcaffeinated, underslept creative types in one place and you will end up with an amusing work environment. (And, in case you were wondering, no, we do not drink at work. At least, I never have. I did hear about one office where there is whiskey in many desk drawers--and this used to be typical in the 1960s, when publishing was something nice young women did between an all-women's college and marriage. I once had a trying phone call, though, and got off the phone and said, "Why can't we work in the Mad Men office? I want a drink! Not to drink, just to look at!" My boss: "What do you want?" Me: "Gin." Her: "I'll get you some gin. Just to look at.")
But most of our amusement isn't "Look at this query" based. In fact, I think that only happens once every few weeks or so. And even then, it's more like the humor of my intern's piece, below.
But I know a lot of writers left disheartened, and at the airport, we talked about how that isn't the norm, and how, were those our queries, we would have felt pretty awful about the whole thing.
So. Rest assured. We're not usually like that. We take our power to determine writers' fate seriously.
21 comments:
"But I know a lot of writers left disheartened, and at the airport, we talked about how that isn't the norm, and how, were those our queries, we would have felt pretty awful about the whole thing."
Have to say that this makes me sad for the people who saved money that they may or may not have easily had on hand, put their big-kid panties on and took the collective deep, calming breaths we're told to take before those things...only to feel knocked around with the worst fears that writers seeking representation try to convince themselves doesn't happen. :(
Thanks for the kind note. Yeah, I admittedly left pretty disheartened but I realize it was an invaluable learning experience for us.
The first show was great fun, but then the second (where the first two lines of my query appeared) suddenly felt awful. Still trying to decide how to react. :)
This is reassuring :) And re: whiskey in the desk drawers...I once worked in a rather high-stress production art studio. One day we were fighting with a recalcitrant machine, and had been most of the day when my boss came in the back, saw our pained expressions, and asked, "Would tequilla help?" Tequilla did help. Having a boss who was willing to provide tequilla helped even more!
I wondered about that. I missed both of those events due to other obligations. but those people were IN the audience... and even though they were anonymous and even though they knew they'd get gonged...
Can you imagine having worked for six months on a query sent it to a billion friends, and think it's awesome only to have it laughed at by an entire auditorium?
I don't think you should feel ashamed of having the occasional giggle at work, as long as it doesn't go outside the office. I think everyone working in this sort of high pressure, intensive, often stressful type of job does this to relieve tension and vent frustration. I've often heard that the sitcom Scrubs is the most accurate depiction of hospitals on television and I'm sure this is for the same reasons - good doctors would never dream of mkaing light of patients' problems in their presence, but a little black humour helps them to get through what must be a very, very tough job.
Dear Crow and Mary,
Yeah. I still don't know how I feel about that program. On the one hand, I suppose it's good to see that a lot of others are making mistakes--and I like that everyone was trying to keep it upbeat and light--but how could it possibly be light for those who signed up and had their work read in front of everyone?
Me, I'd probably cry.
I missed these panels but I know from being present in both your talk and panel, I think it is very obvious how seriously you take your job. And it is okay to have fun while working. If things did get a little out of control in this one panel and people got their feelings hurt, I think it shows so much respect to address the matter publicly like this. Thanks for doing so!
I don't imagine agents sitting around making fun of queries because I figure when you are sifting through 800 queries in a month, the last thing a person will do is stop at every mistake, call a colleague over to witness, and then hang out discussing the nuances of punctuation or contrived language for a while. The situation you are describing was certainly a different conundrum, but all queries were volunteers. Could've someone paid me enough to sacrifice my query to the process? Hell, no. That was the point, to identify glaring pet peeves and through humor and a big gong, point the wallflowers like me in the right direction. I send a big thank you to the sacrificial lambs and the goodhearted agents who participated!
I don't imagine agents sitting around making fun of queries because I figure when you are sifting through 800 queries in a month, the last thing a person will do is stop at every mistake, call a colleague over to witness, and then hang out discussing the nuances of punctuation or contrived language for a while. The situation you are describing was certainly a different conundrum, but all queries were volunteers. Could've someone paid me enough to sacrifice my query to the process? Hell, no. But the point was to identify glaring pet peeves and through humor and a big gong, point the wallflowers like me in the right direction. I send a big thank you to the sacrificial lambs and the goodhearted agents who participated!
Rowenna,
I have the feeling that clear tequilas (like Patron silver) are going to make a grand entrance onto the infused/otherwise fancy cocktail scene. What do you think?
Jamie,
Yeah, I know. I hope they're doing okay. I almost want to send notes of apology but, of course, I don't know who they are...
Thank you, Rachel. I do hope that comes across!
Good point, Stacy. We're often so crazy busy, we wouldn't have time to chat about mistakes, even if we felt like it.
Okay, you gave me the courage to post about this event. Thanks, GK! Love your sympathetic heart!
Holy crazy clapping monkeys. I can't imagine getting gonged.
A couple years ago I submitted my first page to be read in front of a room full of writers and then critiqued publicly by an agent, editor (one of my favs), and author.
That was tough enough. I learned TONS from those few priceless minutes, but if they would have gonged me my heart might have imploded.
Rowenna, I have recently learned--from my frequent trips to the tequila bar inside of the Mexico pavilion at Epcot--that El Jimador Blanco is one of the best tasting tequilas I've ever had AND it's cheaper than big names like 1800. Might want to share that tip with your boss. The economic times being so hard and all. ;)
I think there are some things that happen at work where you just throw up your hands and say "unbelieveable." On those days, you can't help but laugh to keep your sanity. (P.S. I'm not anonymous because I want to protect my identity from you, but to keep it from my office in case someone searches on my name. Oddly, I know this happens because people have searched my name and told me what they've found.)
From the flip side: I did one of those "gong the query" events at a conference last year. They read about half the submitted queries, realized they had ten minutes left, and raced at breakneck speed through the rest.
The moderator got to my one-sentence summary, read it super fast, and MISREAD A CRUCIAL POINT. The agents conferred, and an agent from an earlier session who'd heard my summary...confirmed the wrong impression. The panel shouted "PASS!"
It was so horrible I had to skip the next workshop and go out for Starbucks.
But when I came back, people from workshops where I'd read my full query and first two pages were all over me about how much they liked my book and how mean the agents on the panel were. So I got a lot of attention and support that I wouldn't have had if I hadnt been mocked, and as it happens, four other agents asked to see my ms when finished.
(this only works if you have solid material to come from behind with)
As one who made the monumental mistake of forgetting I'd sent an old, horrific query- and sat in the audience screaming in my brain...Noooooo. I have to say that after the mortification eased some, I was able to see the humor in it. I even went up to an agent at the party and made a confession. We both laughed and I was able to put it behind me. I had already trashed that query a long time ago, but it taught me a very strong lesson on what you guys want. And more importantly...what you don't want. Also, I think if you can't laugh at yourself, you won't have much fun in life. :)
I, too, attended the gong show, and while I didn't submit, I do remember the email instructions for the gong show made it very clear that it could be brutal, and wasn't for the faint of heart.
Also someone I met there who had submitted a query for the gong show, sat through both sessions and was still sad that her's wasn't read. In her words "I want to know if there's something wrong with it. This is literally the ONLY way to find out".
Everyone who sumbitted to the show - knew from the conference blurb that it would be difficult but entertaining, and I learned so much just by being in the audience. Don't feel bad. That wasn't the only way to get attention from an agent at the conference, so it wasn't a make or break part of the conference for the writer.
Yes one thing I've learned is never submit (what you think is) polished material for feedback. Send early drafts, when you're still looking for ways to improve a work.
Once you think it's done, there will be plenty of people who will tell you in private why (they think) it still isn't ready. They might be right and they might be wrong. But I don't solicit strong opinions on material I'm not actively working on improving.
Still, sounds like that panel should have come with a warning label: THICK SKIN ONLY.
I probably would have cried, too.
:)
Oh, yeah. You definitely learned what got under their skin. I'm glad it happened to me. It was mortifying. But, It's a lesson learned and won't be repeated.
I feel bad for those folks who can't see the humor in it. I mean come on... we got gonged by New York City agents, for crying out loud. How many people down south can say that?!
Post a Comment