Well. He's been very busy wielding considerable power over the publishing world, making deals, and generally being a literary man about town. You can read up on his earlier adventures here, here, and (perhaps most amusingly) here.
Now, we were sipping cocktails the other night--Snarky had been making eyes at the waitress; I'd been staring at his drink. We'd been talking about this blog.
"Don't you ever think about putting ice in that, at least?" I asked. I mean, it's been really hot here (another heatwave), and to GK, whiskey always seems like drinking fire--and unpalatable fire, at that. Maker's, at least, comes with a pretty wax top that is, like the little round, waxed cheeses, fun to play with--but that's the only appeal I see.
"Your blog is all sweetness and light," he said, with a small twitch of displeasure.
I went back to my gin and tonic--and yes, gin with essence of rose and cucumber; I'm a girl like that--and considered. Yes. Snarky has been very busy, but I had to find a way to bring him back.
|Please consider this not an ad, but an illustration. This stuff is pretty darn delicious. Certainly better than Maker's. Yuck.|
So, though I can't disclose my persuasive methods (okay, bribery), Snarky has agreed to judge a contest and offer a critique to the winner. And, though I can't (really can't) tell you who Snarky is, he's a very bright agent in NYC. And he's my friend. If you like, I'll read his response before you do--so I can tell him to shut up if he gets too mean.
Deadline is THIS FRIDAY at midnight. Snarky will announce the winner next Monday, September 6.
Here you go:
As part of his court-mandated anger-and-swearing management program, Snarky Agent Man is looking for a new way to notify authors he is passing on their project (his current way is "Your manuscript drives me to drink"). He needs help coming up with a letter that fits his personality but doesn't have as many curse words in it as some previous drafts.
To enter, create either a general rejection letter that Snarky can use for every project, or write one that he would have written to reject Twilight (and we know he would have). The person who submits the best letter for Snarky's judgment wins EITHER a query letter critique or a first page critique.
If you retweet or otherwise link to this contest, you may have TWO entries, provided you include the link (to your link) with your entry.
All entries are due THIS FRIDAY at midnight, EST (or SST--Snarky Standard Time).
Please post your entry as a comment. If you'd like to remain anonymous to other viewers, you may post anonymously and CC your entry to AgencyGatekeeper@gmail.com (with a way to identify you).
May the best rejector win--and the odds be always in your favor.